I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
