Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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