Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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