I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
