I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
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