margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
