At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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