I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
