Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
