her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
