If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
