I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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