Non-Jews are for practice
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
