At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When are your genitals available?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
