there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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