I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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