It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
