Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
