Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
