the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
