Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
