This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
