youre lurking in front of me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
