FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
3pm strippers are depressing
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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