At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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