just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i out mim tonsoeep
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