i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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