she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
