SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
