Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
