I faked an abortion last night.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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