I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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