just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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