you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
