I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
