I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
