It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
