Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
