hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
