Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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