someone owes me an orgasm
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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