does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
