fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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