Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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