Nicole vs. Life
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well I just put wine in my tea
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
