Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The adults are the big ones right?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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