His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
