any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
