matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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