Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
