thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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