There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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